The Espada's Misadventures
by ILaughToHideThePain2
Summary: Join Grimmjow, Harribel and Ulquiorra behind the scenes as they have their misadventures in Hueco Mundo! Many drabbles on how their relationship is in Las Noches! Rated M for later chapters!
1. All Men Are Idiots

ILaughToHideThePain with another story. This is about my favorite characters in Bleach getting into random things! First off, Ulquiorra!

Chapter 1- All Men Are Idiots

" Hey, Ulquiorra, just show it to me!" This insolent fool has been constantly questioning me with the same question, repititiously! I knew it was a reason why he barged into my room. No one has EVER come into my room. EVER.

" No." I said, trying to keep my annoyance hidden.

" Show it!"

" No"

"Show it!"

" No."

"Show it!"

" No."

" Show it, NOW!" That is the last straw for me. I will keep my composure, but this has gone on far too long.

" Very well, Grimmjow. Follow me." I flashed stepped out of my room to far away from the palace Aizen created. And of course, Grimmjow followed. We appeared in the nothing of Hueco Mundo's endless white desert and never ending moon. Personally, I favored the moon and it's beautiful rays, and-

" Well?" Grimmjow growled out in impatience.

" You are to follow every instruction I give you, and I suggest you do." I said in that monotone voice of mine. Knowing Grimmjow wasn't going to follow them.

" All right, Ulquiorra! Shit! What the hell do I have to do?" Only Zommari and all of his eyes could catch the most miniscule twitch in the corner of my lips.

" Turn around, close your eyes, and wait until I count to ten."

Harribel POV

" That Ulquiorra is a devious demon under that mask." I thought aloud as I watched Ulquiorra pull the same stunt I did when these idiot men asked my to unzip my clothes. Idiots.

Normal POV

To my suprise, Grimmjow did what I said. My lips slightly twitched again. I must stop letting these emotions intervene.

" 1, 2, 3, 4..." I continued counting while I charged a Cero with my finger. Harribel is extremely intelligent for coming up with this resolve.

" 7, 8, 9, 10." He turned around, with my Cero finger dead in his face. His eyes widened.

" Cero." And with that, I point blank fired a Cero directly in Grimmjow's astounded face.

" DAMN YOU ULQUIORRA SCHIFFER!" Grimmjow shouted as he got burned and blew back as far as Ulquiorra's eyes can see.

" Harribel." I said as I felt her Sonido beside me.

" Men are idiots, as you have just experienced." I turned towards her.

" Does that mean me, also?" Me and Harribel were closer than other Espada to each other. So I can sort of tease her, a little.

" You aren't a man. You are..." And what is that supposed to mean?

" Just Ulquiorra." I raised my spiritual pressure to warn her that she had crossed her boundaries. She stepped back, out of my eye's view. She must have gotten the hint.

" Calm down, Ulquiorra. I was just saying, that all men are idiots. I raised it even higher, and turned around to look at her-

" Cero."

Harribel POV

" Cero." I said as the yellow energy engulfed Ulquiorra. I saw the slightest twitch in his eyes, as he was blown across the white desert and into a red pillar, the same as Grimmjow. I sonidoed by them. Grimmjow was imprinted into the pillar, a pained expression on his face. Ulquiorra... was just Ulquiorra. Who dared try to threaten me and I am Number 3, and he is Number 4! I smirked under my hollow mask.

" Like I said, ALL men, are idiots that need to know their place."

Lol, how did you like it?


	2. Harribel Owns All

Decided to do two chapters since it's gonna be a drabble story. Next up, Harribel!

Chapter 2- Harribel Owns All!

" Gin, I believe it is time for some entertainment in Hueco Mundo." Aizen said in his usual monotone voice.

" Yes, Aizen?" Gin somehow said through his smiling fox face.

" Choose a number from one through four." Aizen said, smirking. It seemed Gin knew what he was refering to because his grin got even wider! Whis is impossible!

" Three." Gin said, giggling.

" Very well."

Harribel POV

Aizen had decided to somehow give us some foriegn thing called a "computer" today. Mine was blue, with yellow trimmings. He explained to us how to work the strange device. I was currently looking at some trailer of a movie called " Titanic." All of that water... !

COMPUTER VIRUS

TAKE TO MASTER AIZEN IMMEDIATELY!

" What in Poseidon's name?" wondered aloud. Before I take it to Aizen, maybe I should ask the others are they having any problems like this? I agreed to this and walked down the halls of the palace, "computer" in tow. The first door I saw was Szayzel Aporro Granzs'. He was... smart when he wanted to be...

Knock Knock

No answer

Knock Knock

No answer

I was knocking as petitely as I could without trying to bust the worthless contraption down, but it has been 10 minutes and still no answer. Ugh, what is going on here? Maybe Zommari will know. I sonidoed to his door, only to find that his door has been torn to pieces! Did someone infiltrate here? Taking out my sword, I dashed to Aizen's room. His room was also broken into! Maybe Ulquiorra knows! I know that whoever it is could'nt beat Lord Aizen. I sonidoed to Ulquiorra's door, which strangely hadn't been touched. I feel no spiritual pressure anywhere! I knocked- Wait why am I even respecting these fools! I sliced the door down, to reveal a completely bloody Ulquiorra in his Ressureccion form lying on the floor, eyes closed. There's no way in Hell that Ulquiorra lost. There are no signs of a fight!

I crouched down and took Ulquiorra's head in my hand, it was quite heavy for some reason, maybe because of the helmet he's wearing.

" Ulquiorra..."

All of the Espada were gathered in Aizen's throne room with Aizen, cackling at seeing Harribel carry a fake version of Ulquiorra.

" I must say Szayzel, you outdid yourself with this one. Send in the Grimmjow clone, Grimmjow." Aizen said, amused.

" Yeah, yeah."

" Thank you for your praise, Lord Aizen." Apporo said.

" You very much deserve it.

I was heading to Aizen's throne room with Ulquiorra cradled in my arms,and my sword sheathed, when I felt a familiar-

" Tia, help... me..." A bloodied Grimmjow begged as he crawled in front of Harribel, with his legs gone comepletely.

" Grimmjow... Serves you right." I kicked him away from me and continued on to Aizen's throne room.

The room rumbled with cackles and laughter as they saw Harribel kick Grimmjow into the wall. Grimmjow did NOT like that one bit.

"Lord Aizen, may I put a few perks in it?" Grimmjow asked innocently. Aizen knows that Grimmjow NEVER calls him Lord, so he knows he is up to something.

" All the more fun, my dear Grimmjow. The security controls are in the room on the right."

Grimmjow growled in pleasure at this.

Grimmjow POV

" I'll show her! You wanna kick The KING?" He was now in the control room, but did'nt know how the hell to work anything!

" Grimmjow, do you need some assisstance with this?" He motioned towards the security controls.

It was Gin Ichimaru. Oh, how I hated that fox-like bastard. But I DID need some help.

" Yeah." I mumbled out. He gave one of his pedophile giggles and walked over towards me.

Harribel POV

I was just 4 turns away from reaching Aizen's room. I quickened my pace in anticipation. Just then, I collided with something hard, very hard and I dropped Ulquiorra and fell back.

" Damn it! What the hell?" There was nothing there. I must be over exhausted, that's all. I reached my hand out and felt around, nothing!

By this time Yammy had mistakenly turned into his Ressurecion form rolling on the floor laughing. Aizen had to put up a sound barrier so Harribel could'nt feel or hear anything from the room.

Grimmjow POV

Hate to admit it, but Ichimaru was very helpful.

" There you go, Grimmy. All set up for you to-"

"Yeah, yeah. Now get out creep." I started tampering with the security walls, making and invisible wall appear and she ran dead into it! THen I made it dissapear when she stuck her hand out to feel around! Ha! I was too busy laughing to notice Gin open his eyes and glare at me.

" You will drown in those words, dog." Gin hissed out and flash stepped away.

Harribel POV

This is strange. The wall is gone! I guess I can continue. I bent down to pick Ulquiorra back up, but then hit my head on what felt like a brick wall! I quickly grasped my head to try and relieve the pain, but it did'nt work.

" Damn it! Whoever it-" My speech was cut short when yet ANOTHER wall ran into me with full force!

" Fuck!" I lost my composure now. Whoever this was, will die a slow and painful death... by ME. I sonidoed to Aizen's throne room door, only to find Gin standing there.

Groans and protests filled the room as Harribel sonidoed away. There were no cameras in front of his throne room, or any other of the Espada's room... so where did she go?

" Is this true what you telling me? That on the other side of this door, all of the other Espada are alive and have been watching me?" Gin nodded, and opened his eyes to reveal those icy ones.

" And it was all Grimmjow's idea." He said with a smirk. My cold voice and unemotional mask instantly came back on my face.

"Very well. I shall teach them a valuable lesson on not to dare do something of this caliber and idiocy again." Gin closed his eyes back and flash stepped away. I slowly unsheathed Tiburon and held it pointed down in front of me.

" Destroy, Tiburon."

Aizen POV

" Everyone, quiet." The room instantly got dead silent. I removed the sound barrier so I could hear or sense whatever was on the outside. But I heard nothing, which was strange. And where is Gin? I quickly teleported as far away as I could from my palace, which was exactly 300 kilometers. I put up a barrier in front of me, because if I know Harribel...

Grimmjow POV

"Well, so much for my fun. That was enough for me anyway." I cackled out when a hand clenched my shoulder bone-crushingly.

" Like I said, you WILL drown in those words." Before I could turn around, whoever it was was gone. I went back into the throne room, to find it dead quiet and everyone had a confused look on their face.

" What the hell is-"

Aizen POV

" Just as I thought of Tia." I smirked in amusement. My palace overflooded with scorching hot water destroying every bit of it. The water quickly made its way towards me in about 10 seconds. The steam from it would make you think its was a group of tornadoes forming. The barrier was quickly fading, so I have to improvise and-

" Do NOT think you are getting away that easily, Aizen."

" I am your Mas-"

A Month Later..

I hovered over Hueco Mundo's white sands looking for the bastards. All of the rest of them are still in the sand after that "Incident" because their skin has nasty looking boils and burns. And if they move, it hurts tenfold. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra was in their ressurecion form running from me. I was faster than them, but had no idea where they went. I felt a spiritual pressure stronger than mine appear on the side of me, it was Gin, holding Grimmjow by his long hair in one hand, and Ulquiorra in his other.

" Are you looking for these two?" Gin said, holding a growling Grimmjow and a sulking Ulquiorra.

I let out a huge grin and Grimmjow shivered.

" Just what I ordered, leave them to me."

" Of course, Tia. My pleasure." Gin sonidoed away, and as soon as he left, they flew away from me.

" Ha Ha! Destroy, Tiburon!"

Aizen POV

I heard agonizing screams from far away. Tia must have got ahold of them. I can't... move...

" Aizen, would you like for me to help you?" Gin opened his eyes.

" Yes, Gin. Heal me, now." It even hurt painfully talking.

" Oh, I won't be the one doing it."

Gin POV

I flash stepped to where Tia was, and it was a sight to behold. She was pounding them relentlessly with water that might as well be fire!

" Tia, Aizen says he will NOT give in to a FEMALE." She instantly sonidoed away, and I decided to poke fun at the now bald Grimmjow and Ulquiorra, and that was a very funny sight to see.

" Grimmy! I hugged him, knowing very well it is going to cause him undying pain.

"AAAAAAAAAAAGH! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME! NOOOOWW!"

" Let it ALL out Grimmy. Let it all out."

Aizen POV

I looked up, because something was blocking the moonlight. Gin!

" Gin- Harribel. What a pleasant- AAAAGGHHH!"

LMAO NEVER GET ON GIN OR HARRIBEL'S BAD SIDE!

Did you like it! Review! Please!


	3. Espada vs Gin and Harribel

I was NOT expecting someone to like this story! And in such a short period, too! Shout out to that lovely reviewer! Now, I know it is too early for an arc, but here it is. The Espada vs Harribel and Gin!

Chapter 3- Payback

Grimmjow POV

Everything is back to normal after that " Halibel" incident. Ever since then, no one, and I mean NO ONE even goes near her except for Gin. They have gotten close over this these three months of building. Aizen made absolutely sure to include water proof walls in this new Las Noches. I was walking towards the Conference Room for another meeting, that Harribel and Gin was excluded from. I sulked in the room, and as usual, everyone was in their respective seats What the hell?

" So good of you to come, my dear Grimmjow." Aizen said as he sipped a cup of tea. He had a long, black hooded cloak on, like me and Ulquiorra was required to wear, of course, to cover the extremely fatal wounds Harribel gave us. Aizen was in a very foul mood, his spiritual pressure was much more strong than usual, yet he never shows his true emotions. I went and sat down, wondering what the hell was going on.

" After the-" he paused, and his spiritual pressure raised a little more, " Unfortunate incident that has been inflicted upon us, we shall engage in an immediate counterattack on the third Espada, Tia Harribel." Is Aizen seriously considering this? I could'nt believe my ears.

" As childish as it seems, we will NOT allow Harribel to parade around MY palace like she owns it. And Gin, that-" His spiritual pressure increased so intensley all of the Espada except for numbers one through four could'nt breathe. I clutched the table, cracking it in the process.

" My apologies, gentleman... and Swayzel." Swayzel scoffed. Aizen lowered his spiritual pressure.

" I am allowing all of you to exact revenge on Harribel. No killing though." The Espada groaned in protest, especially me. Ulquiorra... was just Ulquiorra.

" What the hell Aizen! She almost burned us to a CRISP!" I yelled out.

" You will NOT kill her. If you do, I will PERSONALLY dispose of you... slowly. And NO destroying Las Noches." Aizen said with a smile sipping at his tea. I got the note to be quiet, as much as I did'nt want to, though...

" Consider this a vacation from your duties, gentleman. Whatever injuries that occur to you during this time is on your own cause. You may travel to the Human World to get needed supplies. Just notify me if you are. You are dismissed."

Harribel POV

We were standing by the door of the meeting the Espada was currently in. Aizen is planning an all out attack, eh? Gin gave me an amused smile, opening his icy blue eyes. He only does that when he has something devious planned.

"Harribel, how bout we do a lil plannin on our own, eh?" I nodded, and we sonidoed back to my room."

*Coyote Stark*

Ugh. It will pass the time. She did give me some nasty burns on my legs, I wasn't fast enough to sonido from the water. I layed in my room, on one of my numerous waterbeds in the room.

" Stark, I have an idea!" Lilynette will have a good plan, hopefully.

" What do you have in mind?"

" Come here, let me tell you."

Harribel POV

" No doubt someone will try today, so be on your toes, Gin."

" Of course. Now what do you have in mind?"

" Well, we will go from top to bottom in numbers. I know it is a little childish, but these are Espada we are dealing with. If I know them, every single one of them is planning something at this very moment. So first off, Stark, th-"

A knock at the door. Me and Gin looked at each other, then a piece of paper slid under the white door.

" I will see what it is." Gin said as he took out his zanpakto and in an instant, his sword retracted with the note at the tip. It still amazes me how fast it can travel. He picked the note up, and read it aloud

"**YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE PRANKED"**

The handwriting was so sloppy... and.. CHILDISH... !

" Gin, dispose of it!" He raised an eyebrow.

" It is just a harmless piece of paper. Seriously, you are over-" KABOOMM!

Stark POV

" Lilynette, I have to admit that was a very smart idea." It really was. The would have never expected a piece of paper to blow up in their faces.

" Hahaha! I know it was!" She cackled, rolling about on the floor of my room.

" But the problem is... what in Hueco Mundo would she do to retaliate?" I feared her abilities, even though mine surpassed hers. She was an extremely capable warrior.

Harribel POV

Damn it, I would rather be by myself than with Gin. The explosion was a miniscule one, but enough to destroy my room without creating a hole in Las Noche's walls. My hair was totally spiked upwards, and so was Gin's. Black soot covered our faces as Gin coughed violently. Luckily my jacket covered it from getting onto me. My stomach was a whole different story, though.

" I wasn't expecting them to get serious so soon. Very well, this means war!" Gin whispered as he opened his eyes.

" What are up to?" I asked him, cautious of that look in his eyes.

" Payback." He said innocently as his eyes closed back and his grin went impossibly wide.

Stark POV

" Lily, how about we take a nap?" I yawned out, stretching as I turned over onto my side.

" Yeah. It took alot of energy to hold that Kaboom so it would'nt do any damage to the wall." Wow. She actually agreed to this for once. More than happy, I sighed in content as Lily hopped on a waterbed and instantly sleep caught her, and me also.

Harribel POV

Behind that constantly smiling facade was a disturbingly evil and wicked person. This idea was flawless. We sonidoed to Stark's door and Gin commenced his plan. No wonder Aizen brought him with him. Gin let out a devious giggle, and we said together,

" Destroy, Tiburon."

" Shoot to Kill, Shinso."

Now that I am in my Ressurecion form, the plan will commence.

Stark POV

" I beg to differ, par'ner." I said, tipping my hat. Clint Eastwood got ready to pull his guns out, when a hole opened up and sucked me in. It felt like I was... falling. My eyes shot open, and I heard many hissing sounds, it sounded like millions of snakes were in the room, and I shot out the bed, only to find that EVERY single one of my beds!... were LEAKING!

" LILY!" I called out. She did NOT budge. When I tried to run over there towards her, I hit something extremely hard, like a wall.

" What the hell!" The water from the beds quickly rose, and when it touched Lily, she woke up.

" AAAAHHH! WHAT THE FUCK?" She bellowed out. She quickly noticed how high the water level was getting and looked at me. I could'nt do anything because I was hovering at the ceiling, and could'nt see a thing because of the scolding steam. The wall is now fully visible, a shiny white from the hot steam. I was boxed in, the room split in two by the wall.

" Damn it." I cursed.

Harribel POV

Gin was a genius. He gave me a bow.

" Now it is all up to you Great White Shark." he taunted. I accepted it as praise. I dissolved myself into water, and slid under the door. It felt like I was in Heaven,well, technically that's the Soul Society, but you get the point. It felt so good, like I was in a hot spring. I rematerialized to Stark's side of the room. He was clinging desperately to the ceiling as the water was just centimeters away. I made all of the steam dissapate, so he can get a good look at what the HELL he did to me and my HAIR! I stopped the water from rising, so I can enjoy this moment even more. I was inside the water, but I'm sure he could see me.

" Ha-Hali-Ha-AHAHAHA!"

Stark POV

I was in NO position to laugh, but she looked so funny. Her entire stomach was completely black, and from the bottom of her eyes to the top of her forehead was black! And her hair... was sticking up like she had been shocked! Even Lily joined in on the laugh!

Halibel POV

I glared at him. How dare he laugh at me! Actually, I probably DO look like a clown. But to torture him even more, i decided to laugh with him. Though I never have laughed before, I'll try.

Stark POV

We were still laughing rowdily at Harribel, but we stopped when we heard a strange noise. It sounded like... a Barragan coughing? What the hell? I looked back at Harribel, and she was ACTUALLY laughing! This was a sight to see, but, maybeee... She ought to stay quiet.

" See? It was all a prank. Now could you stop the water, please?" And to my suprise, she did! Her huge sword-thing absorbed it, and the barrier was gone. I could'nt help but let out a few MANLY giggles. Halibel was laughing even HARDER. Ugh, it is horrible sounding. It sounds like... a dying donkey, screaming his last breath...

" The soot and stuff will come right off Halibel, now could you please not do that again? We are on good terms now, right?" I asked, and she was clutching her sides... doing whatever you call that coming from her mouth.

Gin POV

" What in Hueco Mundo is that horrid noise? It sounds like... a hollow and a hippo crying and yelling?" Ugh, whatever it is, it sounds horrible.

" We are on good terms, right?" I heard Stark ask. Here it comes.

Stark POV

She was STILL braying, on the floor now, rolling.

" Halilbel?" I asked, kinda creeped out at how she looked doing this.

Harribel POV

I was still on the floor laughing, but now it is time for revenge. Lilynette joined Stark by his side, looking at me with worried eyes. It is time.

Stark POV

Halibel immediately sonidoed so she was standing up, and instantly changed back to her cold, self. She stared us down, with that cold gaze. And she icily said

**"No."**

Harribel POV

The 'lava water' Grimmjow calls it completely filled the room, and I made sure to let Stark and that little brat breathe while encased in the water so they would'nt drown, no matter how much I wanted them to. And to make sure the would'nt escape, Gin put up some sort of barrier to keep them from sonido-ing. I sonidoed out of there, and landed next to a giggling Gin. All of the other Espada, and even Aizen was gathered at the door, listening to the agonizing screams of Stark and Lilynette. I made out some words through the screaming,

" HALIBEL!" That was Stark. " FUCK YOUUUU!" Lilynette. She will never learn. I guess she doesn't know since I control the water, I see all that is in it or by it. And she was flipping me the "bird" as Grimmjow calls it. I made sure to raise the tempature even more on her hand. Her response was

" I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" I smirked at the Espada's expressions. Particularly Grimmjow and Ulquiorra, they were probably reminiscing on when I did that to them last time. Aizen, in his black cloak walked towards me, then turned to face the Espada.

" I told you the consequences will be of your own risk. This is a perfect example." He said, pointing towards the room with the two that lungs' were probably crumpled up like a balled up piece of paper. At this moment, me and Gin stepped foward, making Aizen flash step back towards the Espada.

Then we said, at the same time,

**" This is what happens when you mess with us."**

The Espada quickly disbanded afterwards.

Conference Room

" Gentleman... We have a problem,"

****

**You can choose what the other Espada are going to do to Harribel/ Gin! One each** **chapter. EXCEPT Ulquiorrra and Grimmjow. I have something special planned for them. Review and one question. Is Halibel's name HARRIBEL or HALIBEL? I desperately want to know. May not be as better as the last, though. But I feel it was very funny.**


	4. Jitterbugs

ILaughToHideThePain here again. Next, Apporo Granz and Nnoitra have something up there sleeves. Nothing to say, so on to the story. Lastly we saw-!

Harribel: Ryen, just please get to the story. I am itching to torture our victims.

Gin: Yeah, what gives?

Me: First off, NEVER call me by my real name. Second, since you are " itching" to see torture, I will allow someone to do just that.

Gin's endless smile quickly turned into a scowl.

Gin & Harribel: And what is that supposed to mean?

Me: You know, Harribel, even IF you're my favorite Espada, you can't just avoid EVERY attempt and you end up scorching them. No, from now on, things will change.

Harribel:* scoffs* We will see about that, RYEN.

Gin just giggled. I don't trust him.

Chapter 4- Jitterbug

Harribel POV

After hours of trying to make ourselves look back normal, we finally succeeded. We no longer looked hideous-

**All Espada report to the conference room immediately.** Aizen's voice revebrated through the halls of Las Noches. Gin and I looked at each other with cautious looks.

" It is mandatory for us to attend ALL Espada meetings. I doubt that anyone will try anything. Ladies with dangerous powers first." Gin said, bowing.

" Still... stay on your toes." I said, making sure we would not get caught by suprise, well, Gin get caught off guard again.

Stark POV

"No... No! Aizen could'nt be that evil to make us look like... THIS!" I yelled in the mirror, looking at myself in horror.

" I could always hide inside of you, and come to think of it.. I will!" Our souls merged together.

" Aizen... you expect me to come to an Espada meeting looking like THIS?" I growled in frustration.

**All Espada report to the conference room, except for Lilynette and-" **There was an extremely long pause. I was praying that he would say Stark.

**"That is all."** The bastard!

Nnoitra POV

" Goodbye my lovely little collection." I said as I walked out of my specially made keyhole shaped door, making my way to Harribel's room. They won't know what hit them.

**Conference Room**

Aizen POV

Honestly, I just called this meeting to see Stark. I had no more black cloaks, since there were only three, so I wondered will he come or not. It was really amusing, really, this little war. I sipped on my cup of tea as my dear ladies and gentlemen entered the room... except for two.. Stark and Nnitoria. It was interesting to see that all of my Espada were unmistakingly avoiding Harribel and Gin. They kept at least a hallway's length from her. I had set up a table specifically across the room for Gin and Harribel. They seemed to be whispering about something. I will review the surveillance tapes to see what it is. After everyone sat down, I decided to screw with Harribel.

" My dear gentleman. It-" I dropped my cup of tea. St- Stark!

Harribel POV

The Espada burst out into laughter, and I could'nt blame them.

" There is our example." Gin said , giggling uncontrollably.

I just smirked under my jacket collar. It turned out, laughing was completely overrated. After that fake laughter I did with Stark, I was completely unnattracted to the thought of laughing anymore. There the Number One Espada was, Coyote Stark, nothing but some brown briefs. His skin was completely red, and steam was coming off of him still. Huh, I don't know my own strength. And the most amusing part was, ALL of his long hair was gone, and nothing sat on his head but a bang, that constantly wavered as he flew in. He sent me a cold glare, I looked at Gin, who was now cat-calling at Stark, making him even more angry.

Gin whistled, " How much for the apple, Lord Aizen?" Gin asked, holding back a laugh. The Espada laughed even louder, Grimmjow in particular. I looked to see what Ulquiorra was doing... he was currently...just... staring at me. I have never been scared of anything, but... those eyes were just looking at me... with so much emptiness... it creeped me out. The bad part about it, he was sitting right next to me! I tried to look cool and keep my composure and turned away, but Gin noticed this. He whispered,

" Tia, what's with Ulquiorra? He is scaring me."

Stark POV

!#$%^&*! #$%!******!####!()=-=**!

Aizen POV

I was in complete disbelief. This is what I LOOK LIKE? No, it could'nt be. Let me hurry with this meeting so I can look in the mirror.

" Silence." I said, and the room instantly got quiet. All eyes were on me, except for Ulquiorra's and Harribel's. Ulquiorra was just staring at her... with no distractions either. I could tell Harribel was getting uncomfortable under his gaze. I would prefer Harribel to NOT be distressed at this time.

" Harribel, Gin, you have a specific table you will be required to sit at from now on." In an instant, they were sitting at the designated table. Ulquiorra turned his head, continuing to stare at them. Harribel and Gin turned their chairs so their backs were turned, and whispering. Of course, I will not let them escape torture.

Harribel POV

*Whispering* " Gin, do you know anything about this?" I asked.

" No, Tia. I guess me and him will have to battle." I am confused. Battle?

" I do not understand what you are implying, Gin."

" I mean a staredown. Even Aizen could'nt beat me." I seriously doubt that he would beat Ulquiorra in a staredown. But nevertheless, anything to-

" Tia and Gin, I would be extremely happy if your backs wasn't turned to me while I lecture. It is a rude gesture." Aizen is so evil. We did what we were told, though. Only to be greeted by Ulquiorra's gaze. Those eyes...

" Ulquiorra, why don't you join them?" Oh hell no.

Ulquiorra POV

I quickly sonidoed and took a seat directly in front of them. I continued to untrelentless assault on them with my eyes. I never knew I could have such an effect on Espada. I must make use of this more often.

Normal POV

The conference room door slowly creaked open. Everyone turned to the door, revealing a very depressed looking Nnoitra sulking to his seat. All eyes were on him, except Aporro Granzs'. Aizen took note of this, and Harribel and Gin were too busy looking at the now interesting dull white table in front of them, trying to avoid Ulquiorra's gaze.

Aizen POV

I will be sure to review the cameras to see what they were up to. I glanced over at Harribel and Gin, smirking at the amusing situation. Ulquiorra was now leaning over the table, still staring at them. Why did I call this meeting again? Oh yes, Stark. I looked at him, who was literally steaming and muttering many profanities. He had yet to sit down, he was just hovering over his seat. Time for some more teasing.

" Stark, why are you hovering over your chair? All Espada are reqiured to sit in their required seats." Of course, Ulquiorra showed no sign of pain, but all of the Espada were unaware that Grimmjow and I were discreetly doing the same thing, even when walking. Every part of our body was severly burned, so we can't come in contact with anything.

Stark POV

"Calm down, Stark. Calm down. Calm down. It won't hurt. I am the strongest Espada." I tried to console myself in my head. I slowly lowered myself, getting closer and closer to the chair. Good thing all eyes were on Nnoitra, who looked suprisingly sad.

Aizen POV

" Nnoitra. You are late." I scolded, even though it hadn't even started. And will never start.

" I apologize, Lord Aizen. It will never happen again." All of the Espada's eyes widened, except for the ones at the new table, who were still in that situation, and Apporo's. They are up to something... Nnoitra looked at me, and I saw something in his eyes. It was something... pleading.

" Harribel and Gin-"

" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!" Stark screamed as his ass grazed the chair.

That is exactly what I was waiting for. I could'nt help but chuckle as he balled his fists up tightly, trying to rid of the pain, but causing more. The room was again, filled with rowdy laughter. All was laughing, except for Harribel's table. And yet again, Apporo and Nnoitra.

"You are dismissed."

Harribel POV

Me and Gin quickly went into my room.

" Harribel, may I use the bathroom?" Bathroom? What in Hueco Mundo is a bathroom?

" I have no "bathroom."

Gin POV

No bathroom? So Hollows do not use the bathroom? So... ! The males have no... *Coughs* reproduction organs? Or the females? Huh. You learn something knew every day.

" Harribel, well, I need to use the bathroom. I will be back shortly." She looked confused, but nodded anyway.

I quickly ran down the halls, to my room. I shut the door, locking it, before going into the bathroom. I heard a noise, but it was probably someone walking through the halls.

Nnoitra POV

*whispering* " Bubble gum, hurry the fuck up!" I scolded as the pink haired man popped the lock on Gin's room. I was carrying a bag full of, well, I don't really know. I had asked this psycho to give me something that Harribel will remember. The door opened.

" What are you waiting for, you twit! Throw the bag in there!" Oh, yeah. I threw the bag in there, and immediately shut the door. Pinkie blocked the door with some sort of jello-like... stuff... that moved. Now, for Harribel!

Gin POV

Now I KNOW I heard something. I opened the door to the bathroom, to find a huge white bag laying in the middle of the floor. I was cautious, of course, after having that sheet of paper blow up in my face. My thoughts were quickly disturbed as the bag shifted.

" Hello? Whoever it is, show yourself."

" OK!" Many voices said, they were very shrilly. { Just imagine Alvin and the Chipmunks' voice}

The bag was sliced open by a scythe. A pink scythe, a very small pink scythe.

" ATTACK!"

Nnoitra POV

*whispering* " Are you sure these things can't be killed?" I asked, because if Gin and Harribel kill those things off, they will KNOW who did it, because Pinkie made sure to create Praying Mantises{?} with scythes that look exactly like mine. Bastard.

" Do you doubt my intelligence?" He said, flipping his hair. Such a drama queen.

" Just pop the lock and open the door."

Harribel POV

" Where is Gin?" I thought aloud... " Could they have gotten to him?" It has been at least fifteen minutes already. I got up, and reached for the doorknob.

Nnoitra POV

Pinkie opened the door, and I instantly threw the bag in the room, and Harribel got smacked with the bag, which tore and hundreds of little mantises scurried out, and yelled

"ATTACK!" Harribel sat up, only to be knocked back down by the little things. Me and Pinkie were laughing our guts out as the things poked Harribel with their scythes, leaving red dots all over her.

Harribel POV

" GET OFF!" I said as I thrashed about, getting my hair all messed up, AGAIN. With every poke, my body jerked in the opposite direction." DAMN YOU!"

Gin POV

" You know, all of this poking doesn't affect me. I have had my share of incidents with my zanpakto." I said, as the little creatures tried their best to poke the hell out of me.

" Hmm.. I haven't ate in a while. I wonder how you taste..." I said, licking my lips.

" RUN AWAY!" The little cretins yelled as they left the room in a hurry.

" COME BACK!" I said, making them pick up the pace.

The Next Day...

Everyone was at the Espada meeting, excluding Nnoitra and Apporo Granz, having laughed to hard. Harribel had yet to come...

" Where is Harribel, Gin?" Aizen asked, sipping at his tea. Gin's smile faltered.

" She... had to make... some adjustments." Aizen knew what happened, he just wanted to tease her, like Stark.

Nnoitra POV

" We totally got her!" I said, as we walked to the meeting. Pinkie laughed in agreement.

Normal POV

The doors of the Conference Room forcibly bust opened, creating a crack in the wall. Aizen did'nt care, though. He just wanted to tease her.

Aizen POV

She was walking extremely awkward. Her body was stiff, and every two seconds a part of her suddenly twitched. How delightful! She made her way to her table, with Gin looking extremely docile. How did he manage to get away from those things? Gin... is an very weird individual.

Harribel POV

" D-damn it, G-gin!" I said as I stuttered everytime I was about to twitch. " H-How-" My arm shot up, Gin dodged it, barely.

" I had a very nice dinner." He said with a smile. He quickly moved his chair away as I unwillingly tried to punch in the face. Apporo Granz smirked at me,

" You will pay."

Eh, it was alright. And that Ulquiorra thing was NOT his prank. It was just someone ordered him- I mean he DECIDED to do that. Anyways, next is Zommari! I already have an idea for him, and it is HILARIOUS!


	5. Higher Than Hueco Mundo's Sky

A/N Not going to lie, I WAS about to discontinue this story, but I said what the hell, why not continue it? I have three... or four favorite story alerts, and one reviewer. That is MORE than enough inspiration. Although I wish the one's who made it one of their favorite stories would review, plz? Even if it just said " Nice story" or something. And the bold is for the deep voiced ball talking. Review Please!

Harribel: Why are you begging for reviews?

Me: I am NOT begging... its called... asking suggestively.

Harribel: Whatever, begger. And he doesn't own Bleach. Something he forgot to say the other times, the idiot.

Chapter 5- High As Hueco Mundo's Sky

Zommari and Aaroneiro were currently in Aizen's throne room, about to ask him permission to go into the Human World to search for something to do to Harribel and Gin. They usually don't do trivial things like this, but that lava water of Harribel's burned their rooms, which had precious things to them, for Zommari, it was his endless books on the Himan World's religion and supernatural books. For Aaroneiro, it was his countless replacement jars for his head... jar thing.

" Lord Aizen, we ask permission to travelto the Human World to find inspiration for Harribel and Gin's punishment." Zommari asked, while bowing. Aaroneiro could'nt, because his tube thing was heavy, and he will fall over.

Aizen, still with that constant tea in his gloved hand, raised an eyebrow to this. " My brothers, what a wonderful idea. Mask your spiritual pressure, cause no commotion, and you gigais are in your rooms."

Zommari POV

" Yes, Lord Aizen." As we walked away, I could not fathom how Aizen knew we were going to need gigais. Does he monitor what we do in our rooms, also?

" Zommari, what if we run into a Soul Reaper?" The high pitched voice of Aaroneiro asked.

" We simply ignore them and continue with our mission." That... thing could always ask the most ignorant questions.

" A suitable answer." The deep voiced ball said. I wondered what would happen if I killed the dumb one and left the smart one alive...

Aaroniero POV

Ugh, he has ALL the answers, doesn't he?

**If you weren't so stupid you would'nt ask such dumb questions.**

I RESENT THAT!

**You should'nt. It wasn't an insult, it was a fact. Now let us go into our room and find the gigai.**

Author POV

After a few minutes, they opened a Gargantua, and went through it. Of course, they were transported to Karakura Town. That SPECIAL town where everything happens... Anyway, they went to a shop called the Urahara Shop.

Zommari POV

" It looks like it might have something. Do you agree?" I asked. This gigai was extremely uncomfortable. I was a tall black man, with braids, and well built, but not as well as myself. I had a white button up shirt on with black flower on it. My pants were purple, with some black dress shoes. Aaroneiro's gigai was a tan, built man. He wore an all red suit on.

" We don't know what the Human World holds. Let us continue." Ugh, thank Asa Mika Lun the smart one took over. I probably could'nt take it if the other had. We walked into the store, which was strangely misty. A strong smell of... grass took over the shop. They must be performing the Xybfd Heryt ritual I read. It said that if you grow a special plant, and cater to it, you then pluck it, buy some sort of thing called a cigarello, then roll it up and take the plant and smoke it. They said it gives you pleasure beyond your wildest dreams!

" Welcome dudes...! Samuel L. Jackson and a chili pepper! I knew you would come! Follow me and sit down." The man in a green and white striped had said, carrying a fan.

This man is in a blissful state! I must question him! So, we followed him to the back of the shop, which looked like a very small living room, and sat down on the cushions.

" Sir, I must ask you, where did you find such a fine plant?" I asked.

" Well, Sammie, I have hundreds of them in my backyard, it keeps me SOOOOOOOOOOO happy!"

" May I try some?"

Aaroniero POV

This idiot is about to try something that could be poisonous! The strange man left out of the room, and very shortly came back with an cylindical object. Smoke was protruding from one side. What is this?

" You take it, put it in your mouth, inhale, then pass it. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudes." He handed the object to Zommari, who did as instructed and he took a huge inhale.

Zommari POV

What in the world is the feeling? What are all of these colors? Why is the room spinning?

" What is this called, sir?"

"... blunt."

So this is bliss? It feels so, so, relaxing. Maybe jar head would want some. I held it out to him, he took it, and did the same thing I did. His eyes instantly turned red, and his lips curved to an ear splitting grin.

" Blunt..." He giggled out. I was also laughing.

" Yeah, you feel it? This is called being high. Now, let me tell you a joke."

I was swaying to the music that the man was singing. Was he singing... I dont know... but it was so beautiful.

Aaroneiro POV

Oh my... this is rather funny. The man was dancing around with the room... I could'nt help but laugh.

Urahara POV

Whoops... gave them the perp, not weed... no wonder they are gone. I haven't even done anything! Well... maybe it time fo sum mersic!

Zommari POV

His voice is so... nice...

" Don't stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up, tonight, Imma fight, till we see the sunlight"

I got this sudden urge to dance.

Aaroneiro POV

" That... is my SONG!"I got up and started dancing. Zommari was too. The man in the hat{ HA. Curious George} joined in.

* 6 hours later*

" Come again sometime! And make sure 5-0 dont see the "presents!" Urahara called out as the two now stoned Espada left. They were fun! Urahara thought to himself.

* 2 more hours later staring at the sky*

" And... and... the sky, right? What if... it was PINK!" Aaroniero called out. He had a bags of "plant" in his pockets. Zommari's eyes lit up.

" Oooooooh! Yeah... What if it was...WHITE! No... Hueco Mundo... what was it we had to do again... AIZEN!" Zommari dragged the stoned man through the Gargantuan and raced through the halls to Aizen's throne room. They were given raised eyebrows and curious stares, but they did'nt care. They burst the doors open, giggling like mad scientists.

Aizen POV

What is that smell they are carrying? It smells like... plants? There eyes are blood red... what is going on here?

" Zommari? Aaroneiro? What is the meaning of this?" I asked, a little on the cautious side becauseof their behavior...

" THERE WAS TALKING STREETLIGHT, MAN!"

" AND A FLYING DOG!"

" DON'T FORGET THAT ALIEN NAMED BANANA!"

" OOOOHHH! AND-"

What the hell is going on here?

" Did you find something for Harribel and Gin?" I asked...

" YEAH!"

" WE GOT THE MAGIC PLANT! OOOOOHH!" Zommari said, running around acting like a ghost.

" Well, then, *cough*, go carry out your plan then. Quickly. You are dismissed."

" OKAY. WHERE IS THE VENT THAT LEAD TO HARRIBEL ROOM HAHAHA!"

I raised an eyebrow...

" In... the security room... then turn...right?"

" OKAY OKAY LET'S GO!"

They raced off. What the FUCK just happened?

Harribel POV

" No one has tried anything all day. Do you think they have given up?" I asked Gin, who was currently deep in thought. His smile was gone, which was rare, but something is wrong with him.

"... Do you smell that, Tia?" He said, sniffing. Come to think of it... I DO smell something... something like, grass. I walked towards the smell, and it was coming from the vent above my bed... Another prank?

Aaroneiro POV

Okay... almost there... Here we go! I said as I found the vent to Harribel's room. I grabbed the magic plant stuff, to get ready to throw it on them.

Harribel POV

" It is coming from the vent above my bed. Can you remove the vent cover?" I asked Gin.

" Shoot to death, Shinso!" He sliced the covering off with great accuracy, and many green grass clippings started to fall, right on my bed. It was covered with them!

" What do you think it is, Harribel?" Gin said, inspecting the grass.

" I don't know... this is where the smell is coming from, though." Gin took a huge inhale, and instantly started to giggle rather loudly.

" Harribel, sniff it."

" ..." He is crazier than I thought he was.

" Come on... it's good." He said, bringing a handful of that stuff to my nose.

" NO."

" So stubborn!" He poured the stuff down the collar of my jacket! I inhaled and quickly unzipped it.

" What the HELL is-" Wooooaaaahhh. I feel so, at peace... Its like... I am at a beach. Yes! I am at a beach, swimming through the water with sharks at my side. The water is so warm and comforting...

Aareneiro POV

Texting Zommari...

"LOL It totally worked. Rabbits and birds!"

Zommari's reply...

" LMAO Told uou! Dragon and flower blossom.

Zommari POV

Closing his phone...

Time to do my part... I sonidoed to Harribel's door, and pushed it open. That is that. Now, to watch with my dear bucket.

Gin POV

" Come back! Don't go bunny rabbit!" I said as I chased the little cute thing down the plain, filled with roses and other kinds of flowers.

Aizen POV

" What is all of that commotion?" I asked aloud, as I heard roaring laughter. I stepped out of the throne room, only to find Harribel lying on her stomach, flailing around everywhere, and Gin hopping around, trying to catch some invisible thing. I joined in on the laughter.

Harribel POV

" Help! HElp! I'm drowning! Help! Mister Shark! HELP!"

Gin POV

" STOP RUNNING AND GET BACK HERE!"

Well, well, well, no wonder Urahara smiles 24/7...and what about Kira? He seems like he is in another world all of the time... ILaughToHideThePain Out!

Harribel: HELLLLLLPP!


	6. Grimmjow's and Ulquiorra's Prank!

**A/N- Hello, my dear readers. Of course, I have a huge apology to you all. I'm SO sorry! I got caught up in my other story and totally forgot about this! Sorry! The Espada's Misadventures is back on! And as a present for your agonizingly long waiting, I will upload FOUR NEW CHAPTERS! Now, the moment you've all been waiting on... Grimmjow and Ulquiorra's Prank! **

**Disclaimer- Really, what's the point? We all know damn well Tittie{LMAO} Kubo is not about to write Fanfiction about his own show! But if he did... I wonder what it would be like? Probably no yaoi.. T_T But I don't own Bleach.**

**Now, I have been watching Bleach lately, and has got a new character added into my list of Favorite Characters From Bleach(FCFB)... *Drum Roll*... Szayel Apporo Granz! Ugh, I'm doing too much rambling, I'm sure all of you are saying 'GET TO THE FUCKING STORY!' I will... AFTER I say this one thing. I will be accepting ideas and even OC Arrancars for some inspiration from now on. All right then, on with the funny!**

**Warning- Um, how can I say this? There will be... um... just know Laxatives are involved. If you don't know what they are, look them up...**

**Chapter 6- The Grand Finale! **^_^

All of the Espada has pranked/ tried to prank Gin and Harribel, except for Grimmjow and Ulquiorra. One would think that the fourth Espada would not partake in such 'childish' activities, but think again. The burns, that are now healed, that he suffered were severe, so as childish as it seems, he wants revenge from Harribel. And Grimmjow, being the animal he is has been itching to unleash Hell upon Gin. So, the two paired up to deliver the devastating pranks. Currently, all of the Espada were in the Conference Room, called by Aizen.

"Welcome brothers and sisters... and Szayel." Aizen said casually. Szayel scoffed at this, Aizen smirked.

"Aizen, do you have to do that every meeting?" Szayel asked, fuming.

"Now, you are here so we can discuss something extremely important." Aizen said, ignoring Szayel and not smiling anymore and tone dead serious. Everyone was paying close attention now. "I have some very disturbing news, which has made me think twice about what we should do. I went to the World of the Living, and got our fortune told... It turns out, we ALL are going to die by the hands of the captains of the Soul Society... and Ichigo Kurosaki." Aizen said, scowling at his coffee. All of the Espada's eyes widened.

"That's bullshit Aizen!" Nnoitra yelled.

"I highly doubt that, Lord Aizen." Szayel said calmly.

"What's the point of all of this if we're going to die then?" Stark said while yawning.

"Lord Aizen." The room silenced after Harribel spoke. Aizen, still scowling at his coffee, stayed silent, signaling her to continue.

"If what you say is true, then show us proof of this." Harribel declared smartly. Everyone agreed in protest. Aizen's face softened, and all eyes were on him.

**Aizen POV**

I wasn't expecting this at all. Harribel HAS to be the damn smartass about everything... I would use my sword, but even I don't know how the hell this thing works.. I just go with it. I have to use the 'I Am The Lord Mode' on them. I raised my spiritual pressure a little, but to them, it was immense.

"Do you doubt my judgment, Tia Harribel? After I saved you from getting killed in that desert, you doubt my judgment?" I said coldly. All of them were on their knees except for Gin. I killed Tousen ages ago, what good is a man who 'claims' he is blind, and every word spoken from his mouth is 'Justice'. So, I decided to do him justice and kill him.

"L-Lord A-A-zen" Aaroneiro begged.

Hm. I was lost in my musings. I lowered my spiritual pressure back to normal, gasps everywhere in the room. Come to think of it, how the hell to pronounce that jars' name anyway? And the so-called 'Lord of Hueco Mundo', Barragan Louis. And that Szayel Apporo Granz... what the hell was Tite Kubo thinking when he was naming these Espada?

"Aizen, are you alright?" Gin asked, stepping up.

"Yes, yes, Gin. I am fine. And I have an order. We shall have a tournament, an all-out fight between us, something to spare the time. Follow me." I flash stepped away from Las Noches, holding my tea, and everyone followed suit.

"This shall be training for you. You shall be on teams. No killing each other, and here is the one's that will fight." I declared. When Grimmjow and Ulquiorra told me to stall, I wasn't expecting to have so much fun with this. Might as well torture Harribel in the process. Do you know how much hair gel I had to RESTOCK because of that water? This kind of hair takes time to shape!

"The teams are Espadas Number one, two, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and Yammy, against Tia Harribel."

"WHAT?" Harribel shouted.

"GO!" I declared. The Espada took no time to start attacking her. This will be fun. Wait, where's Gin? I looked around, I didn't see a trace of him. So I searched for his spiritual energy, and there he is. He ran, clever bastard.

"Espada! Gin Ichimaru has entered the tournament on Tia's side, he went that way." I said, pointing to the west. Stark shot off in the direction. I sipped at my tea, actually... I am not sure what this is. How the hell do we get tea in the middle of nowhere...

**Meanwhile with Ulquiorra and Grimmjow in the Human World...**

They were walking the streets of Karakura Town in their gigais, Grimmjow was trying to find something to use on Gin. Ulquiorra was just tagging along, for he already has a prank for Harribel. Aizen created clones of them with that sword of his.

"Grimmjow? Ulquiorra?" An oh so familiar voice yelled out in panic from behind them. They recognized him instantly. Ichigo Kurosaki. Ulquiorra quickly thought of an excuse.

"So you know my twin brother? And might I ask who are you?" Ulquiorra asked casually. Ichigo was dumbstruck, he really didn't know what to do right now. Grimmjow went along with it and walked up to the orange haired boy, with a 'friendly' smile on his face, and stuck out his hand.

"The name's, uh,-" Grimmjow, being the idiot he was, couldn't think of a name. Ulquiorra walked up and helped him.

"His name is John Jaggerjaques, and my name is Ulkira Schiffer. We are both twins of the Espada. Aizen forbid us from Hueco Mundo because we wanted to use our powers for the good of the world." Ulquiorra said nonchalantly. Grimmjow couldn't believe what he was hearing right now. After about an hour of staring, Ichigo finally took this in.

"I guess I should believe you since you haven't tried to kill me yet. Ichigo. Ichigo Kurosaki." He said, taking Grimmjow's hand. Both Espada were dying inside right now, here is their most hated enemy, and they couldn't kill him!

"So, Ichigo, you wouldn't know something good for a prank would you?" Grimmjow asked.

"A prank? Take these youngsters." An old, gruffly voice asked from behind them. The old man pulled out a box of something, and put it in Grimmjow's hand. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow.

"What is that?" Ulquiorra asked. The old man with an impossibly long beard laughed.

"Trust me boys, it is the ultimate prank for someone. Get them to drink it or eat it, and it will dissolve in the water, then sit back and watch the results." The old man walked off.

"Well, I have to get back to the house. Maybe I'll see you some time again, Grimmjow?" Ichigo said, but with a hidden meaning behind it that Ulquiorra noticed.

"All right, Ichigo. See you soon." Grimmjow said. Ichigo smiled, a little too happily for Ulquiorra.

"Here's my number, if you want anything," Ichigo got in Grimmjow's ear. "Anything you want, call me. I'll give it up to you, any way you like." Ichigo whispered in his ear. Ulquiorra didn't like this at all.

"Grimmjow, we have to go home, also. Now." Ulquiorra said, almost losing his composure. Ichigo scowled at Ulquiorra, and waved his last goodbye before walking off, with a little pep in his step. Grimmjow had no clue what just happened.

"Ulquiorra, what the hell did he give me his number for?" Grimmjow asked, completely lost. Ulquiorra was steaming mad, for reasons HE doesn't even know...yet.

"Let's just go."

**Back in Hueco Mundo...**

Harribel and Gin had gotten beaten up... badly. Just what Aizen wanted. After almost destroying the entire damn world with fighting Harribel, who held her own until the Ressurecions started coming, all of the Espada were in their respective rooms, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra were in Aizen's throne room.

"I am curious to see what you have up your sleeves." Aizen admitted. Something he wouldn't admit, though, is that he got a rush from watching Gin and Tia being pummeled, and would give anything to see it again.

"Where is Gin and Harribel?" Ulquiorra asked.

"Gin and Harribel has... sustained injuries and are in their rooms." Aizen explained. The sixth and fourth Espada exchanged glances.

"Lord Aizen, would you like to experience first-hand what we are about to do?" Ulquiorra asked while bowing. Aizen LOVED this idea.

"Very well."

"Oh, and one more thing. We will need a cup of tea and your authority." The blue haired Espada added. Aizen nodded and floated from his throne all godly and over dramatic-like. They were off to raise Hell.

**Harribel POV**

I'm in pain. SO much pain. I can't even move, even my mouth is stuck in place. That fight was wrong on so many degrees I can't name them all.

**Knock Knock**

I wonder who that could be? Probably a servant to come heal... me? I mustered enough energy to move my mouth, but no sound came out. Aizen, Grimmjow, and Ulquiorra were standing over me! What's going on?

"You must never speak of this to anyone." Ulquiorra said coldly to the others. He straddled my hips and got directly in my face! What is he about to do?

**Regular POV**

A blood curdling scream echoed through Las Noches as Aizen and Grimmjow walked out of Harribel's room shakily, eyes wide as saucers and mouths dropped to the floor in horror. Ulquiorra walked out of the room, looking completely unfazed.

"Never speak of this to anyone. Ever. Now let us go pay a visit to Gin." Ulquiorra said in his usual voice. Grimmjow and Aizen could only nod and follow him.

**Gin POV**

Ugh. So much pain. I never been in this much since me and Toshiro got kinky and-

**Knock Knock**

Hm. Must be a servant bringing me medicine. I can't move, so-! Aizen Grimmjow, and Ulquiorra? What are they doing here?

"Gin, drink this. It will help you heal your wounds." Grimmjow said as he brought cup of something to my mouth. I could do nothing but drink it. After I downed it, they were still standing in my room...

"Grimmjow, how many laxatives did you put in it?" Aizen asked him. Grimmjow smirked.

"Well, it was a 100 pill box, so I put ALL of them inside that one cup of tea." Grimmjow said, cackling. Aizen's eyes widened.

"Do you know what Laxatives do?" Aizen asked, because clearly Gin is now a bomb waiting to blow!

"Some old man said sit back and watch the show, he didn't say what they do..." Grimmjow explained.

LAXATIVES? 100 OF THEM? Oh, no. I feel it coming! I can't move! No!

**!**

**Outside Gin's Room**

"Son of a bitch! That's nasty as fuck!" Grimmjow yelled.

"That was rather... repulsive." Ulquiorra commented, covering his nose.

"Get used to it, because with those wounds that he has sustained, he will be in bed for three to five months. And with those laxatives you gave him, I'm positive that there will be a waterfall of... *cough* fecal matter." Aizen said, but then he remembered something.

"Ulquiorra, shall we check up on Harribel?" Aizen asked. Surprisingly, a small smirk appeared on his face.

"I have now traumatized her with that image. It will forever be etched in her brain."

**4 Months Later... Harribel...**

No one has seen Harribel or Gin since Ulquiorra/Grimmjow paid a visit to them. Let's pay them a visit, shall we?

**In Harribel's Room**

Harribel is lying on her side in fetal position, shaking and crying like crazy.

"What did he do to you?" I asked her. She turned away from me.

"H-H-H-He-He... l-looked a-a-at me, and-and... t-tilted his head. T-then it happened..."

"What happened?"

"He-He-... smiled so wide I saw all of his teeth!"

"I-I'll go now..."

**THE END OF THIS ARC**

**I had SO much fun typing this for you! Hope you liked it. I will also be featuring a question or two on the end of these chapters. And maybe some stupid/random stuff. Just for the hell of it.**

**1-My birthday is June 28, and I am thinking about buying Bleach: Soul Ressurecion. What are your opinions on that game? **

**2-Do you think Byakuya vs. Ulquiorra would be a good fight? [I think it would be SO badass!]**

**3-Gin vs. Tousen who will win in a real battle, bankai and all?**

**Random Stuff- When Hitsugaya did that flower thing on my girl, Harribel, couldn't she have just... I don't know. Go inside a building so the snow wouldn't touch her... or something?**

**And what the hell is up with that fight anyway? Before she Ressurecion-ed, she cut THROUGH his Bankai and that one sword slice shot him into the ground. When she Ressurecion-ed, it seemed like she got weaker, right? I mean she could take him on without even transforming! What happened?**

**Read and Review please (The questions are optional)**


	7. 101 Ways To Annoy The Espada

**Well, on with the next one.**

**Chapter 7- 101 Ways to Annoy the Espada**

**Gin POV**

It was an extremely normal day in the bland walls of Las Noches, which meant there was nothing to do at all. Sure, if you like looking at white sand 24/7 be my guest. These computers aren't very interesting either because we have no internet in the middle of NOWHERE. How Harribel got it I have no idea...

**'Gin, come to my throne room. It's urgent.'** Aizen's voice echoed through the halls. Ugh, I hope it's a mission.

**In the Oversized Throne Room...**

"Hello Gin, how are you?" Aizen asked as he sipped on his tea. How we get tea here I will never know.

"I'm bored around here." I admitted. One of his eyebrows rose.

"Hm. I understand. I figured the computers wouldn't be enough." Aizen thought aloud. He continued, "Well, any recommendations?" Well, I certainly wasn't expecting this. There are SO many possibilities! Where should I start...? I know!

"Well, Aizen, I would like to see how much your Espada can take before they lose their composure." I said. He smiled wickedness all in it.

"What an interesting idea. I would like to see how it goes, and on more important topics, I have some dreadful news."

"What happened?"

"I am afraid that Szayel has poisoned my tea... it seems it has made me sick, and my stomach has inflated." Aizen's pregnant?

"I hope you get better soon." That was a lie. I'm gonna kill him before the war anyways.

"Thank you for your wishes. That is all."

**Inside Gin's Room**

"Now... whose life shall I make more difficult?"I thought aloud as I lay in my bed.

**The End**

**Send me some ideas because I have no idea what to do. Thanks!**


	8. Aizen's Meddling

**I personally like this series. Anyhow, this contains a little yaoi, so if you don't approve of boy/boy, you don't have to read this chapter. **

**Bold=More Emphasis**

**Chapter 8- Aizen's Meddling Part 1- GrimmIchi?**

**Aizen POV**

I am currently in a meeting with these Espada, giving them the information they needed to know.

"My dear Espada, it seems that we have intruders." I stated. Of course, Nnoitra is the only one to say something.

"Why the hell should we be worried?" He said with a grin. In my opinion, he reminds me of a pedophile.

"It is Ichigo Kurosaki, that Mexican, and the nerdy looking boy. They should-" I stopped my speech because Grimmjow, he has the **balls **to get up while I, **Sosuke Aizen**, am **talking**. **Hell the fuck no**.

"Grimmjow, where do you think you are going? I haven't finished talking." I said. He stopped and turned his head to the side. Is he** actually **about to talk to me with his back turned? Who the** hell **does this motherfucker think he is? I am Sosuke Aizen, **the**,Sosuke Aizen.

"Uh, me and Ichigo have a da- a battle to settle. Wouldn't you agree to exterminate bugs before they cause more damage?" He did it. The son of a bitch actually did it. **Oh hell no**. I raised my spiritual pressure so he could know who the hell is the boss here. He was brought to his knees, gagging for air. Ulquiorra was looking unsettled... Hm.

"I **suggest** you sit down and let me finish. Return to your seat." I said calmly and let up on the spiritual pressure. He reluctantly went and sat back down.

"Someone got owned." Nnoitra teased. Grimmjow was hella angry.

"Like I was saying, they should be coming close to...," Damn it, I can't pronounce his name.

"The ninth Espada's section. So prepare yourselves. That is all." I concluded. But first,

"Ulquiorra, I need to ask you something." I said, and he immediately turned around and bowed while the rest left besides Gin.

"Yes, Lord Aizen?"

"What is troubling you?" I asked, and I saw the slightest hint of anger in his eyes.

"You see, when Grimmjow and I went to the World of the Living, we had an encounter with Ichigo Kurosaki." I raised an eyebrow. "Ichigo seemed to have a sexual attraction towards Grimmjow, and even went to the extent of giving Grimmjow his number." Ulquiorra explained. My eyes widened at this information. So that is why Grimmjow jumped up when Ichigo's name came up.

"Very well, that is all." I said, and he left.

"My, my, looks like we have some lovin' going here." Gin commented.

"Yes, it seems so. But we have to make sure." I said.

"How can we do that?"

"Search for evidence, of course. Get him for me, will you?" I asked him. A few seconds later, they were back.

"Ya needed somethin'?" Grimmjow asked.

"I have a mission for you. Go to the World of the Living and buy two-hundred cases of hair gel, the 'Latina' kind." Actually, I really needed that. Someone has been stealing it for the past four months. He gave me a weird look.

"I need to go in my room right quick-"

"This mission is extremely important!" Gin helped out. He gave us a cautious look, but left anyway.

"Come Gin, let us see if we can find something."

**Inside Grimmjow's Room**

"Gin, get the left side. I'll get the right." We went to said sides, and rambled through countless drawers, dressers, and closets.

"Nope. No proof." Gin said pouting.

"Hm." I said. There's nothing left except the computer and cellphone I gave him. !

"Let's try the computer." I said. Gin opened it, and there was a Yahoo! account opened.

"Click messages, Gin." I ordered.

"My, my, 1,623 messages sent and received... and they're all from 'Strawberry Delight'." Gin said.

"Well, let's go through them." Gin clicked on the first conversation, and it read,

**Strawberry Delight: Grimmi, wat u doin?**

**The King: Nothin, as always in this hell hole. Whaddya say we spice it up a little?**

**Strawberry Delight: I love boys who get straight to the point. Come on over, no one's here but me.**

**The King: Heh, Aizen might not approve of this.**

**Strawberry Delight: To hell with Aizen, come pop this cherry.**

**The King: Fine, be over in a few minutes.**

We were speechless to this. Grimmjow's been having sex with our enemy?

"When was this?" I asked.

"It says four months ago." Gin answered. So this proves it.

"You know, I am not going to do anything about it." I said. Gin raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? Well, at least we can see what's on his phone, then." Gin said, picking the phone up from the bed and cutting it on. I looked over his shoulder at the screen.

"Let's see... menu... my stuff... pictures...! Oh, my!" Gin quickly threw the phone back on the bed. We both were red, and made haste to leave.

**A Few Hours Later..**

"I dropped the hair gel off in your room. Anything else?" Grimmjow asked as he walked through the Garganta.

"No, that is all, and I thought I should inform you about Ichigo Kurosaki's condition." I said casually. His eyes widened comically.

"What happened?" He yelled.

"..." I stayed silent.

"TELL ME!" He shouted. Just the reaction I wanted. I gave Gin a knowing glance.

"Nothing." I simply said. His whole face dropped, and he just Sonidoed away.

"He cares a lot about him." Gin commented.

"Yes he does... I wonder does any of the other Espada have interests in someone?" I wondered aloud.

"Would you like to see?" Gin asked hopefully.

"Of course, as long as it's not that brat Toshiro Hitsugaya." I said. Gin's face fell.

"Why would anyone want someone so small anyway?" Gin said nervously.

"I don't know. But if I find out that one of my subordinates have something with him, they will die an agonizingly slow... painful... death." Gin sweat dropped.

**The End**

**1-Why does everyone hate Aizen so much?**


	9. Music and 'Emotions'

**The last chapter until about next week. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 9- Music**

**Gin POV**

I was just lying in my bed, when it hit me like a bullet. These Espada have never listened to music before! I guess it's up to me to introduce them, then. I hopped out of the bed, and navigated my way through the maze Aizen calls halls. After getting lost twice, I found his room, not his throne room, HIS 'room' room, where he sleeps. I myself have never been in here, but I have heard rumors that Aizen has a lover that he hides in here... I wonder who? I knocked on the door, and waited for him to answer.

**5 minutes later...**

What the hell is taking him so long to answer? I put my ear to the door, and listened.

**"There's the spot! Fuck me!"**

**"Yeah, you like that?"**

I quickly walked, more like ran, away from the door, and bumped into someone.

"My apologies." I said, looking back, but it was someone I would rather stay away from.

"You know Gin, we can do some REAL bumping back in my room." Szayel said huskily in my ear. This is exactly why I don't like him.

"I'm alright, Szayel." I said, backing away from him. He followed my every step.

"Gin, what's wrong? Don't think you can handle me?" Apporo said, flicking his hair back in such a girly fashion. I quickened my pace, and he did too.

"No, I just don't WANT to handle you." I said honestly. Szayel stopped in his tracks, I took this opportunity to run.

"Minions, get him!" Szayel ordered. Out of nowhere, about twenty arrancars came and grabbed me. I couldn't get loose for nothing. Damn it! Szayel slowly stalked his way to me, dead in my face.

"Now, now, I'm sure that I have something in my lab to make you submit to my needs." He brought his finger up to my face, and traced my jaw line. It made me shiver, not the lovey-dovey shiver, either, the 'I am about to get raped' shiver.

"What is going on here?" Aizen asked, panting fast and sweaty for some reason. He didn't even have his hair gel in anymore... Szayel put on his best innocent face and ordered his... 'creations' away.

"Lord Aizen, Gin agreed to try out a new spiritual pressure enhancing experiment, so I was just-"

"Szayel, leave. Now." Aizen said, still panting like a dog. Szayel pouted and took his leave, not after winking at me though. Ugh. Almost forgot, my idea.

"Hey Aizen, I have an idea for the Espada." I said. It looked like his eyebrow was raised, but his hair was all everywhere so I couldn't tell.

"Gin, let me hear this idea after I am cleaned up. I have... been busy with... keeping Hollows away from Las Noches... I will hold a conference in an hour about your idea." And with that, he limped back to his room, leaving a trail of sweat in his wake. Hollows don't even come NEAR here!

"Gin, c-come here for a sec." A voice TRIED to whisper from a nearby door. It MUST be Grimmjow. I went into the room, and it was Grimmjow, looking extremely disturbed. His hair was everywhere, but more than usual of course. He was blushing for no reason at all. Not to mention sweating waterfalls like Aizen. This day just keeps getting weirder.

"Yes, Grimmjow?" I said, trying to figure out what's going on here.

"I don't know what's wrong with me! Every time I see this particular person, my face gets red, I start sweating, and my mouth gets dry! And this thing gets bigger!" He said, pointing at something I did not want to see.

"Well, it means you need to kiss them." I said simply. I am going to have SO much fun with him.

"Kiss? What is a kiss?" He asked, clueless.

"Well, ask Szayel and he will tell you, and maybe even take you to a world of new things you didn't know. If I was you, I would hurry." I said innocently.

"Thanks man." And he ran off to Szayel's laboratory. Well, Szayel should be raping him in a few minutes, so that should get him off of my case for the day. I feel like messing with Ulquiorra for some reason. Oh, well, I guess I will.

**At Ulquiorra's Door**

I wonder what Ulquiorra does in here, anyway. Probably staring at the wall thinking about how to please Aizen knowing him. I knocked on the door, and it opened a tiny bit.

"What do you want?" Ulquiorra asked coldly. So mean.

"Aizen has ordered me to explain to you what a 'heart' is." I lied easily. The door opened and Ulquiorra sat down on his bed. I looked around the room, and I couldn't see. The whole room was just darkness, and Ulquiorra's eyes glowing in it definitely isn't helping.

"Can we go somewhere... I don't know, that doesn't feel like I'm standing in Batman's Batcave?" I asked him.

"Is that supposed to be an insult towards me? Because of my Ressurecion form?" Ulquiorra asked, voice empty. I sighed.

"Follow me, Ulquiorra."

**On Top of Las Noches..**

"Why are we here?" Ulquiorra questioned.

"Explaining what a heart is, is crucial information that no one should hear but you. Are you ready?" I asked him.

"Yes." He replied.

"Your heart is that cylindicular thing located in between your legs. You have to take it in your hands, and pump it. When you pump it enough, there will be a white substance known as 'emotions' coming out." I explained, and he was paying attention to every word. "It is best if you do it in front of numerous people, like one of our meetings." I explained deviously. He nodded.

"I must thank you for sharing this information with me, Gin Ichimaru. Thank you." He said.

"No problem." We went back inside the palace, and parted ways. The others will be SO shocked. Hahaha! I can't wait!

"What the hell are you doing in MY section of Las Noches! This is MY palace! MY-"

"Barragan, go take your blood pressure, blood clot, anti-wrinkle, erectile dysfunction, spine straightening, protein restorer, sleep apnea, foot fungus, hemorrhoids, speech impediment, dry mouth, colon cancer, Alzheimer's, Dyslexia, dry skin, and eyesight loss medicines instead of yelling at me." I ordered him.

"You'll never take me alive!" Barragan yelled out, running to his room. Great, he's having relapses again.

**"My dear Espada, report to the Conference Room."** Aizen's voice rumbled through the halls. It is time for it!

**In the Conference Room..**

"Isn't life just wonderful, my brothers and sisters... and Szayel." Aizen said. Szayel scoffed, and I paid mind to notice how Grimmjow was looking at him, like a piece of meat. Szayel winked at him, and Grimmjow smiled. But how many times Szayel has raped Grimmjow isn't important, it is what Ulquiorra is about to do...

"But this meeting is about something Gin came up with for..." Aizen trailed off as Ulquiorra got on the table, and started removing his clothes. Everyone's eyes went extremely wide. By now, Ulquiorra was completely naked, and stroking his *cough* meat. Everyone's eyes unbelievably went bigger, and Aizen dropped his tea cup, the liquid spreading out. I was going through one of the toughest fights of my life, trying to keep from laughing at this. After a few minutes of unbelieving staring, the 'emotions' came streaming out right in Grimmjow's tea. Ulquiorra simply put his clothes back on and sat down. All eyes were on him, and it seemed not to bother him at all. This. Is. GOLD!

No one moved. No one spoke. No one even breathed. They were in awe of what they just saw.

"What was it that you were saying Lord Aizen?" Ulquiorra asked, oblivious to what he 'really' did. Aizen snapped out of his trance.

"*cough* *cough* *cough* "Gin... wanted... something...or...something..." Aizen droned out. I stepped up.

"I wanted to introduce you to something called music." I said.

"...Music?" Harribel said after about ten minutes.

"Yes, let me show you. I have taken the liberty to bring each of you something called 'iPods'." I passed out each of them an iPod, and explained how they work.

"Now, each of the iPods have a huge variety of songs and genres, so by tomorrow, come and tell me your favorite artists or bands. That's it for today." I concluded. No one moved but Ulquiorra...

**The Next Day...**

**Knock Knock**

"Come in." I said, not really sure of whom this could be. The door opened, and all of the Espada crowded in my room. Are they about to try to kill me? I grabbed my zanpakuto in defense.

"Calm down, we are here to tell you our favorite artists from the iPods." Harribel said. Oh, I totally forgot. I grabbed a notebook and a pen and wrote each of their names in a row.

"After you tell me your name, you can leave. Who's first?" I asked.

"Donkey Kong soundtrack for me." Yammy said, and left. DK soundtrack? What? I wrote it down anyway.

"Me also." Zommari added and left too. Weirdoes.

"Next?" I asked.

"Basshunter." Aaroneiro said. Finally, a normal one. I scribbled that down.

"Adelitas Way for me." Grimmjow said. I like them, too.

"Drowning Pool." Nnoitora said. Hm, I was expected something stupid.

"A tie between Britney Spears, Rihanna, and Lady Gaga." Szayel said. Figures.

"Tupac for me, Gin." Stark said with a yawn. Hm.

"iPod for me." Barragan said. iPod?

"Um, Barragan, iPod is the name of the-" I was cut off.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" He yelled and ran out of the room.

"Evanescence, Gin." Harribel said simply. Yeah, they are a good band, and it fits her. Now, Ulquiorra's left...

"The band that I have chosen would be Bullet For My Valentine." Ulquiorra said in his usual voice. Wait, let me have some more fun with him.

"Do you know what 'head banging' is, Ulquiorra?" I asked him.

"No."

I explained it to him and he seemed to have interest in this. He put the earphones in, and started a slow nodding at first, but then he went crazy with it. It was an exciting sight to see, Ulquiorra flipping his hair as he walked down the hallway while everyone stared at him. Soon enough, all of the Espada started it, except for Aaroneiro and Barragan, because... you know Aaroneiro has that... jar-thing, and Barragan... is just...crazy.

**THE END**

**Lmao**


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